Should I ask his or her parents for permission before buying an engagement ring?

No, not unless your partner has specifically asked you to. I've been at the bench for twenty-two years, and the permission question before buying an engagement ring comes up less than it used to, but when it does, it's usually because someone's family expects it. That's a relationship conversation, not a ring conversation.

The tradition of asking a father for his daughter's hand is built on an exchange of property, and you don't need to resurrect that, but what you do need is to know whether your partner wants their family involved before the proposal, after, or not at all, because some people love a family blessing moment and some would be mortified.

Last March a client named Daniel came in to design a ring for his girlfriend Priya. He was nervous. Not about the ring, about asking her parents. I told him the same thing I'm telling you: ask Priya first. He didn't. He asked her father, got a yes, and proposed. She said yes too, but a month later she told him she'd wished he'd included her in that decision. It wasn't a disaster, but it started the engagement on someone else's terms.

Now, if your partner has told you it matters to their parents, or you know the family culture expects it, then do it as a blessing. Not permission. The difference matters. A blessing says, "We're going to do this and we'd love your support." Permission says you can't proceed without approval. No partner wants to feel like they were a transaction between you and their parents.

The actual ring purchase? That's between you and your partner. I've had parents try to weigh in on the design, and it rarely helps, because a mom who loves pavé will push pavé on a daughter who wants a knife-edge solitaire, and the person who ends up wearing the thing every day is the one whose opinion counts.

The proposal is about the two of you. The parents' role is to be happy for you after. If they're not, that's a different conversation, and it's not one a ring can fix.