What do I do with the engagement ring during the wedding ceremony?

Lauren called me two days before her wedding, holding her engagement ring in one hand and her band in the other, asking what she was supposed to do with the engagement ring during the wedding ceremony. This is one of those questions nobody thinks to ask until the rehearsal. The short answer is simple: wear it on your right hand, then move it over after the ring exchange.

The right-hand switch, and why it works

Your left ring finger should be bare when the wedding band goes on. The band sits first, closest to the heart. If the engagement ring is already there, you'll be fumbling to pull it off mid-ceremony, and nobody needs that. So switch it to your right ring finger before you walk down the aisle.

Right ring fingers are not the same size as left. Most people run a quarter to a half size bigger on the right, especially if they're right-handed. If your engagement ring was sized for a 5.25 left hand and your right ring finger is closer to a 5.75, don't force it. A ring that's too tight can cut circulation and warp the shank. A ring that's too loose can slide off. Have your jeweler check the fit a few weeks before, or use a temporary silicone sizing adjuster, not tape.

If the right hand doesn't work

I do not love the handoff option. Too many pockets, too many small bags, too many people. But if you can't wear it on your right hand, you have two reasonable alternatives:

• Give it to one specific person in a hard clamshell case. Not a pocket. Not a tissue. Not a ring pillow that sits on a table.
• Leave it in a locked box or hotel safe until after the ceremony, then put it back on for photos. This works if you're not sentimental about wearing it during the vows.

A client named Daniel told me his fiancée gave her ring to her sister during the ceremony. It ended up in a wristlet, then under a pile of clutch bags at the head table. They found it an hour later, but only after the bride had already checked the bathroom twice. Since then I tell people: if it's not on your hand, it's in a hard case, and the case is in a specific person's closed pocket, not a purse that gets set down.

After the ceremony, and a few studio rules

Once the band is on your left hand, move the engagement ring back over it. That is the complete answer to the ceremony part. If you're planning to solder the two together, wait. Wear them stacked for at least six months first. Soldering changes how the set feels on the finger, and plenty of people decide they want the option of wearing the band alone for travel or workouts. I avoid soldering a fresh set. Too many clients have asked me to split them again.

If your engagement ring is a custom piece with a high-set center or pavé, swing by your jeweler a week before the wedding for a prong check. I do this free for my clients. You'll be hugging, signing the license, cutting a cake. A loose stone can go from slightly wiggly to gone in one evening.

If you do decide to hand it off, do it right. A hard clamshell case, snapped shut, in the best man's or mother's inside jacket pocket. Not a clutch bag. Not a tissue in a bouquet. I've seen both. And take it off before the cake cutting.